Thomas and Adam Vol. III

Me:  So, Adam, what did you get for Christmas?

Adam:  A snake. 

Me:  Wow!  Really?  Did you name it? 

Adam:  Yeah.  I named him Ray Lewis. 

Me:  Ray Lewis?  You mean... the football player? 

Adam:  Yeah.  He's the linebacker for the Ravens.  They're my favorite team. 

Thomas: Wait, wait, wait.  You named your snake a person's name? 

Adam:  Yep. 

Thomas:  Why?  It's NOT a PERSON Adam!  It's a snake. 

Adam:  It's a reptile. 

Thomas:  Yeah dude... but why did you...

Adam:  Leave me alone Thomas... Ray Lewis is the best player in the NFL... and tough! 

Me:  Yeah.  He's a bad man. 

Adam:  No he's not.  He's not bad at all.  He's really, really, good.  Probably an All -Pro. 

Thomas and Adam vol. II

It's basketball season again.  And that means I get to overhear more backseat conversations between Thomas and his friend and teammate Adam, going to and from practice.  Last night got the year started in style.

T:  "Did you go to a preschool?"

A: "Nope." 

T: "I went to a daycare,  and I was really smart.  I got a toy when I left." 

A:  "Did you steal it?" 

I am sure there will be more next week.  Stay tuned! 

I should be in the NFL... I guess

Thomas was watching a football game with me and asked me a series of questions that brought him to the understanding that ball players make a lot of money.  So, knowing that I really like football, he wondered why I wasn't on some NFL team.  There is a long list of reasons why I am not in the NFL, but none of those reasons made much sense to seven year old Thomas.  Still young enough to think his daddy is bigger, tougher, smarter than anyone. 

One answer I gave he found particularly perplexing.  I said, "I am not big enough."  Now, anyone that knows me is aware that I have some size to me.  This size is not due to a massive muscular frame.  Instead, it is due to being quite overweight. 

Thomas furrowed his brow, and began to speak....

"Dad... but... see... Dad... well, not to sound mean, but you could just land on those guys and it would smash them in the ground!" 

I miss seeing the world through seven year old eyes.  I really do. 

Yes, I Love Technology...

One day a while back Thomas was grounded from some now forgotten act of disobedience.  He was grounded from the computer, the television, video games, and from playing with friends. 
A while after the punishment was dispensed I heard Thomas crying at the top of the stairs. 

Me:  "Thomas, why are you crying?" 
Thomas:  "Because... I don't have any technology!"

A speech about children in Africa being deprived from their daily technological needs did not seem to fit here.  But in all seriousness... what are we doing to our children?   

Oh, Snap!

Today Heather was going through Thomas' papers from school.  He had a list of ten spelling words he had been tested over.  Also, they had to use one of the words from the list in a sentence.  Thomas chose the #10 word, which was the word 'snap.'  Here is his sentence.

I was frustrated, so I said 'O, snap.' 

Repenter Without a Cause

Last summer I was about to leave the house and placed my oldest son in charge of Thomas.  I went to the backyard to tell Thomas I was leaving.  He was playing on a neighbor's swingset so I called to him, "Thomas!  Come here!" 

As he got close to me, he slumped his shoulders and said, in a downward sloping voice, "I know, I know... I'm grounded." 

"Grounded for what?" 

"Oh!... Nothing... see ya!"  and with that he ran off to play again.  I was so bewildered I just walked away without even telling him why I had summoned him.  And to this day I still have no idea why he should have been grounded.  Maybe that's best. 

Thomas and Adam

Last Winter I coached Thomas' basketball team.  Each practice I picked up his friend and teammate, Adam, on the way and was privy to some great 6 year old conversations from the backseat. 
One particular night of eavesdropping was particularly rewarding.  It seemed that Adam was having a difficult time with a fourth grader that bullied him everyday walking home from school.  He couldn't figure out what to do with this bigger kid.  So Thomas offered his first grade wisdom. 
"Adam, you need to just kick him in the #$*&." 
I was shocked by what he said, so casually and nonchalant.  And so was Adam.
"Thomas, I can't do that!" Adam exclaimed. 
To which Thomas replied, "Sure you can Adam.  They're only this high," holding his hand above the seat to indicate the altitude of the desired target. 
For Thomas it was not a matter of ethics.  It was simply a matter of physics.